Let’s open up about fertility:
There are ways, as women, that we connect on so many levels and we can relate and actually say ‘I understand’. Take last weeks blog for example, we all go through those hideous hormonal tides just like all other women! We also sit over a glass of wine and gossip and moan about why life just gets in the way – it’s usually something menial, but again, we can confidently say ‘I understand’.
But there are some life experiences that the words ‘I understand’ just don’t cut it, particularly for women that are going through a difficult time. Because actually, unless you have been on the same journey, you can’t possibly understand. Not all paths that women have to walk down can be related to, and there is no comparative story within your own book that you can share to try and make a friend, or loved one, feel positive.
Becoming pregnant naturally is taken for granted for most of us, but there are some women out there who are having a difficult time both physically and emotionally.
For the 1:6 women who are struggling with their fertility journey, it can be challenging for you to find someone who can ‘understand’ your personal journey. Every day you find the strength to work through the highs and lows and put one foot in front of the other.
You probably just want to shout an enormous amount of *@$*#* words at people for trying to understand and make you feel better, because their well meaning advice brings you down further. But don’t push everyone away – find your ‘Best Buddy’. Find the one who gets it, who can actually make the sun seem a little brighter every day and doesn’t spin you advice that is completely unrelated to your circumstances. When you start being more open about your journey, you will find that others start to say more about their fertility struggles, and then you know you have the right person or people to confide in.
Find a friend in a loved one, who will let you rant and cry without telling you what they think is right for you. Find a friend in another woman, or couple, who have been through the same journey as you and can offer relatable support and advice. Find a local Fertility Coach, who can offer non-judgemental, professional advice, to help release you from your emotional prison and help you start living your life fully again. Find your safe space, and allow your feelings to surface and become aware of what emotions you are feeling day to day.
Remember though that you are strong and have dealt with so many experiences in the past. Emotions are not there to be blocked; it’s time to open the gates to your emotional freedom and allow them to flow gently, releasing them one by one. Don’t wait or hold on, express each feeling and take the first steps toward feeling alive again. Nobody can understand your pain, but you can allow yourself to be heard in a safe hub of love and support. You do not need fixing, you simply need to feel free. Let your emotions guide you to a place of understanding.
A note for your loved ones;
Being faced with fertility challenges can bring a couples journey to a sudden halt. It’s painful, it feels destructive and it certainly isn’t what was planned. Imagine that? Exactly, you just can’t. By trying to diminish pain, you can actually heighten the upset, irritation and frustration through your attempts at making it okay. It’s only ever because you care but a little word of advice . . Be there, but don’t compare.
If you would like to book a Fertitily consultation with Nina you can do so here.
