Does the Body Keep the Score… or Does It Whisper What We Cannot Say?
It’s a question I’ve sat with for many years now, both in my work with women and in my own life.
Because when we really begin to listen, not just to symptoms, but to the stories underneath them, it can sometimes feel as though the body is holding something… not as punishment, not as fault, but as a form of expression.
A quiet whisper or roar of something that hasn’t yet been given space.
When I was younger, I experienced three ovarian cysts, two of which required surgery. They were painful, frightening times in my life, and I remember simply trying to get through it all, physically and emotionally, without really pausing to reflect on what else might have been going on for me.
Looking back now, I can see that I was in a relationship where I felt deeply unhappy. I didn’t feel truly loved, cared for, or chosen in the way I needed. And beneath the surface, there was resentment… but also emotions that felt harder to admit at the time.
There was fear, of being alone, of not being enough, of asking for more.
There was guilt, for feeling dissatisfied, for wanting something different, for knowing, somewhere deep down, that this wasn’t right for me.
And there was shame, for staying, for not speaking up, for not honouring my own needs sooner.
At the time, I didn’t connect any of this to what was happening in my body. Like so many women, I carried on and kept going. But with distance and reflection, I can gently acknowledge that my body may have been carrying some of what I didn’t yet have the space or safety to express.
When we speak about conditions such as fibroids, endometriosis, or cysts, it is so important to say clearly that these are real and complex medical conditions. Hormones, inflammation, genetics, and many other factors are involved. This is not about suggesting that emotions create illness. But it is about recognising that our emotional world and our physical body are not separate.
So many women I work with are quietly holding layers of unspoken feeling.
Fear that sits just beneath the surface.
Shame that keeps them silent.
Guilt for wanting more, or something different.
Grief that hasn’t been given space.
A longing that feels too vulnerable to name.
And often, these feelings are carried alone. What if, alongside your treatment and support, there was also space to become curious about what you have been holding?
Not to analyse yourself.
Not to blame yourself.
But to meet yourself more honestly and more kindly.
To notice where you may have overridden your needs. Where you have stayed quiet when you wanted to speak.
Where fear, shame, or guilt may have shaped your choices. The body does not speak in words, but it does communicate through sensation, through tension, through patterns and cycles.
And sometimes, very gently, it may be asking:
Can you listen to me now?
Can you acknowledge what has been hard?
Can you give yourself permission to need, to want, to feel?
This is not about finding a reason for your condition
It is about creating a relationship with your body that is rooted in compassion rather than criticism.
Because your body is not against you.
It may simply be holding, expressing, or responding to the life you have lived so far.
If any part of this speaks to you, perhaps this is your gentle reminder to begin showing up for yourself in a way that feels supportive and kind.
That might be giving yourself time to deeply relax and reset your nervous system through massage, allowing space to talk and be heard through therapeutic coaching and somatic work, or simply moving your body in a way that helps clear your mind and reconnect you back to yourself. Love, Nina x
